victorious

[via lizzybethness on Flickr]

I feel six years old with loose leaf papers held tight in my hand, and knobby knees banging into one another as I sprint from the bus up the lane to the house. Out of breath from all that hard work, I merely raise my paper-filled fist in victory.

One small victory mind you, but it is my first A+ in graduate school. Days like this one remind me that the hundreds of pages I read each week and the thousands of words I type in response will all be worth it. I only have to soldier through until that stack of papers in my tiny fist is replaced with that one big sheet of paper in November 2011.

Oh, I love technology...

This weekend, the dishes were done in a timely manner, loads of laundry were completed, sheets changed, clothes put away. Obviously there's something wrong here. Oh right, procrastination is my best friend.

I spent much time huddled over articles and texts reading about computer-mediated communication and the command line, thanking my lucky stars I was born into a world where I don't have to write out notebooks full of code. This class is intense, but its intensity actually ensures that students read all of the materials that are piled high into our outreached, trembling arms. If you don't read and understand the material enough to write thousands of words about it, you'll probably cry yourself to sleep. Then, you'll fail.

In "In the beginning was the command line," Neal Stephensen, pompous fellow that he is, mentions that in the past writers have kept a skull on their desk as they write to remind them of their own mortality. He suggests that something should also serve as a reminder that technology, and how we interact with it now, may also be fleeting. I was reminded of this as the sad orange light blinked on our wireless router to show us that the modem wasn't allowing us to access the Internet. "HOW CAN THEY DO THIS TO US!" I cried out, on the verge of tears. "If I can't access the program for our very web-reliant course, I can't submit my essay and I will FAIL!" Drama.

Thankfully, B is more patient than I. After unplugging the modem for hours at a time (to punish it for what it has done?), we were finally given the green light. Literally. I'm thankful that I grew up with graphic user interfaces and operating systems. I remember trying to run things through DOS on our first home computer, and that was frustrating enough -- no way would I ever have the patience for the command line.

It's interesting to read about the humble beginnings of Netville. To think that once, this genius group of individuals was sheltered by the US military and academic institutions to share knowledge on the cutting-edge of technology as homeland security. When interest in the Internet grew, the values of technological advancement and sharing were overtaken by society's desire for entertainment and fluff. Oh, and marketing.

On another note: I started subscribing to This American Life's podcasts this weekend, and the National with Peter Mansbridge. I am now one happy little transit rider.

I've taken off more time than I should. I've taken time to reconnect in the offline world. I've knit B a hat and crocheted many granny squares. I've been visiting with old friends and rocking out. I've been on the phone and communicating via email with people I've missed; hopefully, I'll keep this up.

There are too many lovely people in my life that I don't want these friendships to slide. School is important, but so is my support network.

I need to make time to connect with people, crochet, bake cookies and beat B at Scrabble. Otherwise, it's not worth it.

I left the building shortly after I got off the phone. I flung my head back and took deep breaths; the tiny flakes stung my face. Happily ever after is crumbling all around me. The people I love are starting over after collecting the dog(s), the soulmate, and the dream house.

A coworker commented recently that they read an article that cited most people break up between Christmas and Valentine's Day. As I trudged through the fresh snow to the train station, I thought of all the recent phone calls I've had like this one. The phone calls to tell me that their fairy tale has ended.


My heart was heavy in my chest as I got off the train at my stop. Then I saw the kissy lips and the smile through the car window before I opened the door. I've kissed a lot of frogs, and I am certain that I've found my bliss.

on writing

I've been thinking a lot lately about writing. Mainly because I had to read this George Orwell article for class last semester. I've found that my writing has been influenced (for the worse) by the approved messaging we work off of for work. I've merely let the words come to me for so long because they're there and they're accepted rather than reaching out and grabbing new ones.

I encourage everyone to read the article (it is hilarious); however, if you don't have time at least read this excerpt.

What is above all needed is to let the meaning choose the word, and not the other way around. In prose, the worst thing one can do with words is surrender to them. When you think of a concrete object, you think wordlessly, and then, if you want to describe the thing you have been visualizing you probably hunt about until you find the exact words that seem to fit it. When you think of something abstract you are more inclined to use words from the start, and unless you make a conscious effort to prevent it, the existing dialect will come rushing in and do the job for you, at the expense of blurring or even changing your meaning. Probably it is better to put off using words as long as possible and get one's meaning as clear as one can through pictures and sensations. Afterward one can choose -- not simply accept -- the phrases that will best cover the meaning, and then switch round and decide what impressions one's words are likely to make on another person. This last effort of the mind cuts out all stale or mixed images, all prefabricated phrases, needless repetitions, and humbug and vagueness generally.

I should just give you all my password

Apparently I'm into showing off my email. Here's one I received today; it was sent to me and my siblings.

Well gang,
I have submitted my papers for the 2010 Election for the position of Mayor.
Should be interesting,
xoxo Mom

I couldn't be more proud.

Being Canadian, it didn't cross my mind that yesterday was a holiday for our American neighbours. Not until this email from my favourite professor hit my inbox. As I shared his story with you, I thought I'd also send these quotes your way.

Since I heard kind words from many of you upon our discussion of the contribution of the Rev. Martin Luther Kind, Jr., to communication and the world, I thought it might be acceptable to send you a greeting on this day that in the United States officially honors him.

I hope this day finds you well and dedicated. Here are a few thoughts from Dr. King.

"I refuse to accept the view that mankind is so tragically bound to the starless midnight of racism and war that the bright daybreak of peace and brotherhood can never become a reality.... I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. This is why right, temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant."
--Martin Luther King Jr., Nobel Peace Prize Acceptance Speech, Dec. 10, 1964

"We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools."
--Martin Luther King Jr.

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."
--Martin Luther King Jr.

"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies but the silence of our friends."
--Martin Luther King Jr.

"Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance andconscientious stupidity."
--Martin Luther King Jr.