Putting the 'fun' in dysfunction

The ugly sweater party was a blast. I was voted ugliest sweater and I didn't even rig the voting process! I had first, second and third place prizes to award. All booze. Good times. Also, the present swap was a fabulous time, it got a bit more interesting near the end when people started stealing presents from each other... which is how I got a sweet 80's Bon Jovi poster. Framed. And "autographed". Swoon. Though quite a few of our usual party guests were absent, we were blessed with a very full condo full of friends new and old.

Boy, oh boy, am I ever looking forward to two 5-day weekends. As soon as we get the go-ahead today, I'm leaving the office and heading to Cypress Hills, Saskatchewan with the Boy to see his fam. Secret: I hope to see another moose. I met his parents on the Labour Day long weekend in September when we traveled down to Cypress to help them move. Not the ideal situation to meet parents, but it worked out rather nicely. As I was kicking the Boy's ass at bocce, we had a mama moose and her baby cross in front of us. Boy pulled out the soccer-mom arm save to ensure that I wouldn't be attacked.

Me (jaw on the ground): Wow. Just wow.
Boy (arm shoots out): Don't get too close or you will DIE!

Anyway, that's where I'll be for the next four or five days, hiding out in the park, maybe venturing outside at some point depending on how bloody cold it is. After another two days of work upon my return, we'll be heading to Canmore to ring in the new year in the Canadian Rockies. I am so excited.

Work has been a madhouse lately, which has been completely unexpected. So crazy that my boss called me at work to make sure I was going to come in today, because she needs me. Hopefully we'll have some admin staff back soon so we don't completely lose our minds.

Happy holidays blogosphere. Wishing you much love, laughter, and good times with friends and family this holiday season.

Although it's been said many times, many ways, Merry Christmas to you.

“Christmas is awesome. First of all you got to spend time with people you love. Secondly, you can get drunk and no one can say anything. Third, you give presents. What's better than giving presents? And fourth, getting presents. So four things. Not bad for one day. It's really the greatest day of all time” (Michael Scott, The Office, Christmas 2005).

The presents are all purchased, wrapped and under the tree. Mix CDs filled with a variety of Christmas carols are being primed for tomorrow night’s party (Metal Christmas mix, anyone? Or is old school Jazz more your flavour?). As we head into the Christmas/holiday season, it’s easy to get wrapped up (no pun intended) in the economy, the stress of finding things for those you love while still sticking to your budget, and the old “did I spend on them, what they spent on me?” dilemma.

I’m here to help, by providing you a list of things I’d like for free this season.

New Christmas traditions. It’s the first year that I’m away from my family, and coincidentally, the first Christmas that I get to spend with the Boy. It’s pretty exciting that we’ll be together this year, especially because the more we spend time together, the harder it becomes to spend any lengthy time apart. Everyone who knows me has heard me discuss the sadness of being without the sisterly Christmas Eve slumber party tradition this year, but I’m looking forward to making some new traditions with the Boy.

Laughter. The holidays are for getting together with friends and sharing good times, imbibing, and creating a database of alcohol-induced moments for blackmail at a later date. I am looking forward to decorating up the apartment and having over friends old and new to celebrate the season before people head off to their respective holiday locations. Whether the laughter is the kind where the hand meekly covers the mouth while giggles attempt to escape, or the hearty head-thrown-back-because-it-can’t-be-contained type, I want lots of it.

Encouraging others to give back. It doesn’t have to be a monetary thing. It can be wrapping presents for something like Toys for Tots or Santa’s Anonymous. It could be spending quality time with a grandparent, while you still can – time is short. Basically, I hope that everyone steps outside their regular comfort zone just a little bit to do something that will mean the world to someone else: whether it’s working with an organized charity, doing a good deed for a stranger or merely helping with the dishes post-Christmas meal.

Voices of those I love. This is totally free, with the joys of unlimited, free long distance. Weee! I’ll be calling home on Sunday night, to talk to Daddy’s side of the family while they’re all at my parents’ house, celebrating Christmas with my grandparents for the first time in as long as I can remember (usually they head south to get away from the cold). It’s strange that they’ll be at my house and I’ll be away for a change, but it will be awesome to call and get to speak to everyone at once.

Family fun time. I’m looking forward to being at the Boy’s parent’s house in the deep Saskatchewan south, surrounded by the tall trees bending with snow, the harsh cold whipping outside, while staying inside all toasty warm playing games. I love to play games. Not the emotional or mental kind, but of the card or board persuasion. Love! Even if I am not good at losing, it’s still a fabulous time.

The Boy. Just reiterating how excited I am to be with him this Christmas, the first Christmas I’ve ever spent with a boyfriend even. Weird. It will be good to make fun of him with his family, cuddle him, and see his reactions to the presents I chose for him.

Looks like everything I want for free, I’m well on track to receive. And what could be better than that?

This post is the final chapter of mine for the 20-Something Bloggers' December blog carnival. My other posts can be found here and here.

Christmas wishlist, by sense

"Every sense hath been o'erstrung, and each frail fibre of the brain sent forth her thoughts all wild and wide." Lord Byron

This post is in continuation of the 20-Something Bloggers' December Blog Carnival. The topics up for grabs were:

• A wishlist of things you want that are free.
• A wishlist of five items, one for each sense.
• A wishlist of things you would sneak under the tree for yourself, age 13.

My post on the latter can be found here. What follows is my wishlist of five items, one for each sense. Unintentionally, all of these items are also free. Kind of. Without further ado, five sense-related items on my wishlist.

Sight: The expression on the faces of those I love while they open their gifts from me. I love when I get someone a present that I know they’ll love. Something that they aren’t expecting that will cause their eyes to light up and a smile to their face. Or tears, if it’s the momma. I’m excited to see the reactions to gifts I’m giving my friends and the Boy, hopefully cementing my own belief that I did a pretty bang-up job this year.

Smell: Lilies. This time of year is a little hard, since it’s around this time that my Grandpa passed away. His gardens were always so beautiful, his lilies so tall, everything so lush. Lilies also remind me of home. My mom’s beautiful lily garden. Her annoyance when cross-pollination occurs (I still like "mingling", Kaye) and all the lilies come up orange. They remind me of family and freedom. Running about outside with the wind in my hair. Smelling the flowers and nearly falling face-first into the garden. Because that’s how I roll.

Touch: Hugs. I am a touchy person, and the holidays are all about friends and family. I’m excited to see my friends this weekend for the Ugly Sweater Christmas Party the Roomie and I are hosting. Hugs all around for those I love. Excited to snuggle up with the Boy. Even excited to see his parents for Christmas, who always make me feel as welcome as my own family.

Sound: It’s a toss up. I absolutely love the sound of laughter. The sound of people coming together and sharing stories, memories, and new experiences. But then, I also want to hear the sound of my sister’s voice, “I wanna talk about boys!” as she crawls into my bed late at night. Our Christmas tradition was a sisterly sleepover/slumber party. Which meant the three of us staying up way too late, giggling and gossiping, saying our prayers together. Usually we were shushed more than once, or sternly commanded to go to sleep. Then, we’d get up early in the morning to look at our presents and help get breakfast organized. The lack of this Christmas tradition has me particularly homesick this year.

Taste: Gingerbread, whether it’s in cookie or latte form. This treat contains the very essence of Christmas. Just as the smell of lilies brings memories rushing back, the taste of gingerbread makes the holiday real. Memories of creating houses in days gone by, or the excitement on old Roomie Tim’s face as I called him upstairs in our house on Maitland Street to cut out his own holiday shapes.

"Love is of all the passions the strongest, for it attacks simultaneously the head, the heart and the senses." Lao Tzu

In an epic too small to be tragic

He was my first relationship that lasted longer than approximately six weeks. It was over a year of the Tragically Hip in the CD player. Not my first love, I tend to fall easily, but it was the first significant one. One with talk of someday. My mother adored him, questioning me to ensure I made the right choice in breaking up with him. He was responsible, charming, and he had a plan.

I used to think he was a good guy, but not the guy for me; later, I decided he wasn’t that good after all. He was someone who seemed to listen to me. But when he stated my opinion back, it morphed into something that was not mine at all. It became exactly what he believed. We couldn’t have differing opinions. And he was “so glad I wasn’t a feminist.” I am a feminist. I firmly believe that any woman wanting the most for her gender is.

He decided what we did, where we did it, and who we did it with. Which if you know me, and the fact that I tend to not care, it’s not a huge surprise. Only he decided even when I had a strong opinion about it, like the time I was sick and wanted to stay home but he made me go to the Drive-In anyway. “I’ll go pack some food and blankets, you think about it.” I got heat stroke from climbing the Sand Hills. Feet burning from hot sand. Tears streaming down my face. He never let me quit. I was so mad.

When I disagreed with him, and made it a point to let him know I disagreed, he got angry. Yelling, door slamming, angry. He’d never raise a hand to me, but he hurt me in other ways. Subtly. He was always the guy claiming he was a good guy, as if that gave him an excuse to be a jerk. “You’ll never find anyone as good as me.”

We got back together a couple times, just because it was easy. After being with someone so long, it was hard to have no one. He tried to romance me, and I cried. He thought I was overwhelmed, really I had realized how over it was. How I no longer had any feelings for him. It was the fact that he was willing to fight for things, and I wasn’t, that broke my heart.

He was good looking, but he became so ugly to me. “My female friends all find me attractive, so I don’t believe that you don’t anymore. You must be a lesbian.” If it makes you feel better, you can try to believe it, I said.

Armed with a strong, smart woman to commiserate with, I was able to say goodbye. And later helped her to the same to a similar man of hers. Over drinks at the Barking Frog, we wondered how to be single again. Laughed about the undesirable prospect of dating. Cursed. Hysterics because he took my vibrator but left his TV. “If he can’t make you happy, he figures you can’t make you happy,” she snorted.

He was wrong. I found someone far greater than he ever was. Someone who appreciates me, and shows it. Someone who gave me the most adorable Poinsettia for no reason at all. Someone who makes me sandwiches. Someone who asks me about my day, and is genuinely interested in what I have to say. Someone who will have drunken debates about economics, energy and politics with me. Someone who will agree to disagree, while agreeing that disagreeing is okay. Someone who is glad that I’m a feminist. Someone who I love more every day. Someone who is one of the most beautiful individuals, inside and out, I’ve ever known. Someone with whom I have many somedays. Someone who has come to hang out with me on my couch when I’m sick. Someone I can fight with. Fighting because we care. Someone I can build a life with. A future.

I remember months after. “I’ve ever been friends with my exes, but I want to be friends with you.” Me talking him through dating again, though I’m sure it was a half-assed attempt to make me slightly jealous. His dismay and wonder at the fact that I wasn’t dating. “I’m not ready,” I said. “I told you I needed to figure out me, what I want, and what my goals are, and that’s exactly what I’m doing.” It’s exactly what I did. And in doing so, I realized he was never someone I would be friends with. It’s a little strange that he’s getting married to that girl he told me about years ago. I wish them well. It’s the reason I broke things off, so he could find someone who loved him as much as everyone deserves to be loved. I’m glad he found it.

I did.

December is for Cynics

In conversation at our Friday snack meeting at work, the topic of Secret Santa came up. I'm a Grinch about Secret Santa; I refuse to take part in this activity. This strikes some people as odd because I love giving presents, I love doing things for others and yet, I refuse to take part in this Christmas activity which embraces both of those things.

We used to do Secret Santa things in elementary school. I always put effort into mine to make my Secret Santa feel special, and I never ever got anything back. It's not that I need something when I give it, but I think that the people who commit and never deliver take the fun out of everything. 

I opt to be the cookie fairy. All year long. 

My University friends used to tease me, though they loved it. During exams, when someone was feeling down, or whenever I was feeling particularly domestic, I would bake cookies. And deliver them around campus/the city. For the past three years, I've been sending cookies in the mail for Christmas to some specific people. It's not limited to Christmas, sometimes it happens for Valentine's Day, to cheer someone up, or for no reason at all. I like to make people's day. Especially because I never tell people when they're coming. I love to get a call from a friend back in Ontario informing me how getting my little package made their horrible, rotten, no-good, very bad day absolutely wonderful. It makes me feel good.

So last night, I had a glass of wine, took off layers as the heat overtook the apartment, danced around to Christmas carols, my hair in disarray, covered in white stuff... and this morning I delivered those cookies to Canada Post.

I also left a container of shortbread and fudgey, peanut butter goodness outside the door of our neighbours, inviting them to our Ugly Sweater Christmas party next Saturday. Because cookies are a pretty easy way of making new friends, and if that doesn't work, we'll throw in some ugly sweaters and booze.

Oh, the weather outside is frightful...

Today is the Alberta Liberal leadership election. In honour of this very unexciting event, I give you the following video. I can't decide whether it is awesome or terrible that Taft and Co. are making fun of themselves by spoofing The Office. Also, a little telling that Kevin Taft is the creative director, has a love affair with that "pony", and sees himself as the Michael Scott of the opposition. Not exactly painting yourself in the best light there, Kev.

It's a little painful to watch, and the sound cuts in and out at points, but it's... erm... interesting. Also, please note: "The Rodeo Motion" for those of you who are not from Alberta, is Taft's announcement in the House that he wants to see Rodeo named Alberta's official sport. Yeah. Er, Yeehaw?

The Boy is headed off to the mountains this weekend for some skiing, and I'm opting to hibernate. With a projected temperature of somewhere between -20 Celcius and -35 Celcius, or -4 to -31 Fahrenheit (says the Internet converter) before windchill, it seems like a good weekend to curl up on the couch, watch some bad Christmas movies, do some reading and avoid the world.

Me, I want a hula hoop!

Heights of Fashion: A history of the elevated foot is definitely something I want to check out before the exhibit's March 8 best-before date. The hise and fall of the high heel in Western fashion over the past 500 years. Gorgeous shoes and history? Sign me up.

The other thing keeping me going today is this classic Christmas tune. I remember the movie from when we were kids, even more than that, I remember the book. With the lyrics to this song. Please Christmas, don't be laaate! Only two weeks!