Twenty-ten

[Peggy's Cove via The.Rohit on Twitter]

Last week I was in a real funk. I don't like to whine and complain, but it seems like all I did was cry last week. I was stressed over school, the hormones were raging, and it seemed like stupid people were popping up in every aspect of my life. On top of all of that, messages of breakups kept rolling in about friends who were previously engaged and/or living with their men. One of these in particular managed to completely break my heart. I was so sure that [the now ex]Roomie had managed to find something spectacular; I even wrote him a love letter!

Roomie is someone who deserves so much good, and I thought she finally had found a piece of that. She's so sweet, always puts everyone else first, is smokin' hot, and she's a domestic goddess; she's been through a lot of crap in her life, brushes it off, picks herself back up and moves on with a smile. Tonight I'm pouring the wine and hearing the full tale. I only hope I can provide a fraction of the support that she gives to everyone else in her life.

When the sadness rolls in, I've got to try to see the bright side of things. I also need to remember that I signed up for school; essays aren't something horrible being done to me.

Every year becomes the best one yet and this one is no exception. Twenty-ten will be full of fun things like concerts (Muse and U2), shows (Chicago and Sweeny Todd), and cross-Canada journeys (so far: Fernie, B.C. for a week of snowboarding and mountains in February; Halifax, N.S. for a week in June -- I'll get to see the lovely Andrea!; home to Ontario for my cousin's wedding in August; and Victoria, B.C. for three more weeks of intensive learning in October). This year is literally a Canadian coast-to-coast adventure! This year I'll complete more than half of my Masters and I'll have logged over 3 years with my Love.

I just hope that all my friends get to be this blissful.

What are you looking forward to in 2010?

I:
a) take pictures of myself in front of the kitchen,
b) apparently look a little cross-eyed at 6 a.m., and
c) crochet things.

Resolute

I don't do new year's resolutions. I've found there are so many little things that pop up that I want to do, or changes I want to make, that it's best if I just adopt new things when the mood hits.

Weird things, too. For example, so far, I've curled my hair 3 out of 4 days in 2010.

I've made a kick-ass scarf that I absolutely love (really that was back in 2009, when we were at home in Ontario with no Internet) and I'm making B a hat. With cables. And I taught myself how to make mittens with cables. The way I make mittens is so easy, but they're also made the same way for the right and the left hand... so unless someone wanted a cable on the back of one hand and the palm of the other, I really had to think about this one. I love yarn crafts and I want to do more of them. This year I may or may not go through my yarn stash and a) figure out what I shall use each skein for (I see more socks in my knitting future) or b) get rid of it.

I want to not procrastinate so much, but this is an ongoing thing for me. I have to work harder at it. It was so easy to get assignments done days in advance when I was in Victoria; now, not so much. I'm facing three 2,000 word essays due in four days and I'm freaking out a little bit (but probably not as much as I should be... there's still time!).

I want to wake up early. I make this goal every night before bed. And usually I fail. I've learned that breakfast helps. And coffee. Lots of coffee. I've adapted my work schedule, effective today, that I get to work a half-hour early and bank that time to take days off every now and then for school. Motivation!

I also always want to be a better blogger, write more letters to my far away friends (email me your address!), and remember to wear lip gloss/lipstick.

It's worth having cross-country friends if only for the hilarious drunken messages

Calling to wish you Merry Christmas?... No, HAPPY NEW YEAR! I think it's a Happy New Year! *giggles*

HAPPY MERRY NEW YEAR!

Home for the holidays

It still doesn't seem much like Christmas, even though I am going home in two sleeps.

Christmas shopping this year seems haphazard, not the usual exciting adventure to find the perfect presents for people. Instead of the desire to trim the tree, I've had the desire to read journal articles. Instead of baking Christmas treats to send out to friends across the country, I've been wishing I could write faster and go to conferences in Montreal, London (U.K) and San Francisco. Instead of watching Christmas movies, I've been thinking about Marshall McLuhan's theories. I'm a bit overwhelmed. I know the essay I submitted the other day wasn't my best, but I just didn't care anymore. The thought of submitting three more essays by the middle of January, combined with travel to Ontario and Saskatchewan for the next two weeks, is terrifying. How am I ever going to get everything done?

Instead of doing schoolwork most evenings, I've been happily curled up with the Boy on the couch or out with my wonderful girlfriends eating brie and drinking vanilla apple mojitos. Ignorance is bliss, they say. Maybe a bit of Baileys in my coffee (or some eggnog) would bring some Christmas cheer?

Home Sweet... oh shit.

On Friday afternoon the many Calgarians and Edmontonians in our PCOM crew were huddled over our laptops ferverently checking and rechecking our flights.

"I heard all flights to Calgary were cancelled."
"You're okay going in, but no planes are leaving!"
"We're only delayed two hours; how long is your wait?"

We took long walks in the sunshine, soaking in the lush greenery, knowing that we were coming back to white. Nearly 20 cm of it. Less than a week later, the conversation is more like this:

"Want to run to Starbucks?"
"What's it like outside?"
"Only -14!"
"Oh God -- so warm! I'm in!"

So warm. At -14. That's what four days of -20 to -30 gets us.

It's hard to read and even think about writing four major essays when at the end of the day I just want to hurry home, start up the fireplace, and watch Dexter with B.

On why I love being a student

My communication theory professor is old. Probably 70. He is the sweetest man in the world and I want him to be my Grandpa. Today was our last class with him during this residency, though we'll be communicating with him during distance studies. It nearly broke my heart.

He is a man who knows theorists by their first names and silly qualities. "I know in pictures that this man never smiles, but he's hilarious," he'll say. "So-and-so doesn't really wear sunglasses all of the time, though I can see how you think he does." He told us his fanboy story about being recognized by one of his favourite theorists after writing his first book. He shared jokes and comics with us every day to make lectures more interesting.

But today he shared so much more. He told us about his experience attending Martin Luther King Jr.'s famous 1963 "I have a dream" speech. He told us about how exhausting the rallies were all day in the sun. He told us about how the air just changed and the audience was buzzing when Dr. King started talking. He choked back tears as he told us about the tall African-American man beside him who placed his sign on the ground, bent over it and "wept like a baby".

He told us about how he'd never told this story when he was teaching at Berkley or the University of Southern California. He told us that until teaching here, at Royal Roads, he never realized just how important that experience was to communications. His eyes were full of tears as he told us about his wife's cancer and the fact that any group he teaches could be his last.

We were blessed today. We have been blessed to know this incredible man. This man could be my grandparent but his world view is blown so wide open. He was a young, white man working to end racism in America. He was a young man who experienced a life-changing event that he still can't talk about without tears.

We gave him a standing ovation and he patted my shoulder as he passed by me. He gave Teresa and I hugs after class while telling us how much he appreciates his students, and how he hopes that even some of the knowledge he's gained in his life will help us through ours.

Today, I experienced the single greatest event of my academic career.